Well, that was dark, right? I hit a low point in the six months I have completed. It has been rough. It’s frustrating to me that people think it’s such a cushy job (I used to be one of those people). It is completely the opposite. Yeah, it may sound like I might not be ‘doing’ anything, but here, sitting under a mango tree with some of the community members (not even talking most of the time) and following the shade around it all day is work. Let me tell you, it is the hardest job I have ever had (not saying much, I know).
Making through another day without wanting to retreat back to the states is a major accomplishment here. I mean not wanting. That is the wrong word, because every day I think there is at least one moment I want to go back home. Maybe actually staying is a major accomplishment. Keeping sanity, which I evidently totally lost the other week. Getting out of bed to face the world every morning.
The other week, I lost that mind frame. I thought because I did not know my community, what they wanted/needed, the fact that they basically told me they did not want me there, I was failing at my job. On top of everything else (including not sleeping at night for like a week)… well… you get a very distraught (and ill- yes, I made myself sick) Nikki. As you have seen.
Being in Kumasi this week has been a great break. I talked with my boss, who was mad that I had not told him sooner the issues that I was facing (Americans try to be strong, right?). He already had our Al hajji go to my site two days in a row to get things cleared up for me. It is amazing how fast he is. Well, he has three daughters. He cannot help but treat us all the way he would want his daughters treated. After talking with him, I am so ready to get back to site (kind of nervous, but pumped to actually get out there… hopefully).
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