Reflections

Reflections. I feel like I might have stated all of this before, but looking back now at how far I have come and what I am looking to accomplish, I feel it is a necessity.
I joined Peace Corps because for the whole four years of college, that is all I dreamed about. The first semester I was at Virginia Tech, I went to a career fair just for fun. Walking up to the Peace Corps desk, I was curious right away when I heard travel, help, and pay. Yes, my whole life would revolve around those three things; which I find very common among ALL of the other volunteers. There is something about this generation that just yearns to get out there… I think. Anyways, it was difficult to leave that table because I felt I had a million questions for the recruiter. But, like many of the volunteers, I kept it in my mind and did research throughout the four years.
Finally, I graduated and was terrified to apply in fear of not getting accepted. I waited a whole year to “get the balls” to attempt my dream. After applying, I went for the interview. The interview. It went really well, I thought. We talked as if we were old friend who were disconnected; and yet I still balled my eyes out in fear of not getting accepted.
Alas, I got my invitation to Ghana almost two years after applying. The buildup was enormous. What the heck are you supposed to do when you achieve your dream?! That was more frightening than actually leaving my family. Through all the fright and excitement, I finally made it to Ghana. To the training. To my site.
Okay. So my first site, which most of you know, was terrible. Right off the bat, they told me, “I don’t want you here.” What am I supposed to do with that? I am here to help, you don’t want the help. Okay. Let me stick it out. Why?
It was one of the hardest things I had to do. Stick out a place that clearly does not want you and wonders why the heck you are there. For what? What will I bring someone who doesn’t want me? Nothing. Okay, so you get nothing. What is the point of my service? There is none. But I stuck it out, because it was my dream to be in the Peace Corps. I sacrificed so much to be here. My family helped me to be here. I chose selfishly to be here. There was no other option.
Finally, they moved me. The new site… I can’t explain how AMAZING it is. Techiman, first off all, is the largest market in West Africa. WOW. I get people from other countries coming here three days a week! My counterpart, the person who was assigned to me to work with, is an ambitious young man (even for American standards- which is saying A LOT).
This is what I signed up for. Now I am finally seeing the truth. Just because you accomplish your dream, doesn’t mean you are finished; maybe you weren’t reaching your full potential. Okay. So, next: nursing school? Sure. Again, my real dream is to travel and help people. I can’t afford it, I’m not a Hilton (not that they have ANY morals- just money), but I could eventually feel accomplished.

Summary

Well, I had a great blog started and my computer did a restart on its own, so I lost it. The gist of it was:
I LOVE my new site. Schedule is busy. MWF I am teaching ICT to people my age. TTH I am at the hospital (mainly the HIV/AIDS unit where they hand out the medications).
I am glad I did not throw in the towel a few months ago and am thinking about staying longer.
I can not wait for Christmas.
And Thanksgiving was great thanks to mom and dad and Lindsey and Doug. Everyone wanted me to thanks you guys for making our Thanksgiving a great one.
Here is a project I am working on:
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=641-317

Yay! Home in almost the single digit numbers!!!!
Dear body: Get ready for the cold.

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. There have been a few reasons and most people that either talk to me or my family, know why.
The reason I have not been writing is that I try not to be more positive when it comes to conducting myself in front of people. That is why everyone always tells me I am a happy and always smiling person. But, I guess I should fill people in on what’s going on in my life.
Almost a year ago, I was basically told that I was not wanted at my site. Since then, I have not been as successful in getting integrated into the community as I should (not from a lack of trying). Yes, I have done some projects, but I felt as though the people in my community did not care to be involved and showed more being annoyed to have to be there than excited to get away from the community and be involved in something others cannot be a part of.
About two months ago, my boss told me that he was working on moving me to a new site. The problem with that is there has to be a site. If not, it takes a very long time to get it started. The PC has to go to the site, inspect it, talk with major people, and check on it again. And that all is after actually finding a potential site.
So, the past two months, I have been at site and around Tamale and Accra. At site, I started to get frustrated because I did not hear what was going on and I did not know how to act with everyone. Do I act like I am staying? And, of course, now that I have it in my mind that I am leaving, a villager basically tells me that I have not done anything for the community and that I should. Okay, what would you like me to do? I’m not just going to hand you some money. What do you think the community needs? Reply: “I don’t know, but if you don’t do anything the community won’t be happy”. Well, I can’t just give you something, if you want to have a meeting about it, okay! Great! Nothing. Just more complaining.
We also just celebrated the 50th anniversary of Peace Corps. And since the PC started in Ghana, we all went down to Accra for the swearing in of the new group and a celebration of the PC! It was AMAZING! We went to the Ambassador’s house, we went out, and we hung out at the mall! I ate a lot of junk. Probably gained a few excess pounds (which is worth it!!).
So, reflection time. I traveled back up North by myself (usually, we travel at least two or three together just because it’s so boring and long!!). It was nice to sit on the bus and trotros and think. I had been thinking whether or not to stay and finish my service for a month or two and it has left me emotionally drained. I would tell myself, “okay, go home.” And have a breakdown because I don’t actually want to go; I just want to leave my site. Then, I would tell myself, “okay, stay.” and I would be happy till I start to think that what if I’m stuck at this site? What if I can’t make it?
Back to where I was going with this reflection. It was a more self reflection and revelation that I had about myself. I was surprised to realize how much I had actually changed. I never saw that I was changing or knew it happened till now. I have more confidence (yes, I still have a ways to go in that department, but I have grown extensively). Before PC, I would not stand up for myself. I would not be bold enough to have a meeting with my boss’s boss about my thoughts and concerns. I would not feel comfortable traveling by myself, sleeping somewhere new where I did not know a soul around. And most times, I would not initiate a conversation with someone I did not know (especially a guy—especially if I thought he was cute). And I would never have put that last statement in this.
I guess I should let you know, in case it was not clear earlier. I have decided to stay. I visited a new site where they want to move me and it seems to be a lot better. If that one does not work out and I end up moving somewhere else, I will also stay. I will be going home for Christmas, so a nice break will break up the last 11ish months I have left. I did get really excited about the fact that I am staying and wanted to dance (that is where my confidence is lacking still)!

Recap

Well, it has been a year today since I left my family in D.C. Here is a recap of my year:
Took a train to Philly. Met some future colleagues. Got a few shots. Boarded a plane. Crossed the Ocean. Landed in Ghana. Took a PC bus to a women’s college. Trained for a few days. Found my way to the Upper West. Met a current volunteer. Shadowed her. Found my way back down to Greater Accra. Stayed in a hotel. Met my home stay family. Moved in. Trained. Found out where my site is. Started learning language. Celebrated Fourth of July. Met my ‘counter part’. Visited my site. Went to technical training. Spent two weeks in a house without water and electricity with 12 other volunteers. Sat on a crocodile. Went back to home stay and training. Finished up training. Took LPI. Went to site. Got a pup. Watched a baby being born. Cooked for the locals. Helped at a camp. Helped immunize children. Watched the village slaughter a cow. Went to Thanksgiving. Went to training. Celebrated Christmas. Celebrated New Years. Got a local name. Went to Damba. Helped testing for HIV/AIDS. Rode a camel. Helped paint the world. Came home (the states). Helped testing for HIV/AIDS. Worked a camp. Went paragliding. Went to a conference. Showed movies to my neighbor. Helped immunize children. Worked another camp. Celebrated ‘judgment day’. Finished a year of service.

Are you surprised?

Hope you had enough time to figure out the answers! Maybe I will teach someone something today. Goal number three still being accomplished!
1. There are seven regions in Ghana.
False. There are ten regions. They are Greater Accra, Central, Western, Ashanti, Brong-Ahafo, Eastern, Northern, Volta, Upper East, and Upper West. Each region has districts and different tribes. I live in the Northern Region. The capital is Tamale. My district is Central Gonja (the name of my tribe) and the district capital is Buipe. Along with the Gonjas, my village also houses the Dagombas. Years ago, there was a tribal war and the Gonjas won. Although the Gonjas are in charge, my entire village speaks Dagbani (the Dagomba language) and some speak Gonja. They have taken on the Dagomba language and some of the traditions because they live so close to Tamale (which is run by the Dagombas).
Most of the southern regions consist of Christian Ghanaians, whereas most of the northern regions is Islam. The upper east, however, does have the same amount of Christians as Muslims (so I have heard). Somehow, the Muslims were pushed up north out of the Accra area and got surrounded by Christians in the middle of Ghana.
Although religion seems to be a big part of life here, it does not control their whole actions (does it anywhere?). The Muslims do pray the right amount of time every day; they will make up for it if they miss one. The Christians go to church on Sundays. Some go more. But they still have sex out of marriage and still steal, lie, cheat (again, people do everywhere).
2. Ghanaians can read English.
False. Although English is the primary language, most Ghanaians can barely speak it, let alone read it. The only Ghanaians that can read it are the ones that continue on to Senior School and further. Most Ghanaians drop out of school before this, though, especially in the North. Reading is not a necessity, therefore not a priority, and somehow lost.
I am always surprised when I see a Ghanaian reading a novel. It has happened twice in a whole year. It catches me off guard and I am fascinated at the fact that they actually understand that they get joy out of reading. You cannot expect anything here except to be constantly surprised.
3. Ghana was the first place the Peace Corps went to.
True! President JFK sent the first 52 PCVs to Ghana in August, 1961. Since then, the PC has sent over four thousand volunteers. As of right now, there are about 162 volunteers in country; soon we will lose about 70 and gain another 70. The main focus is HIV/AIDS prevention, but some other fields include Community Led Total Sanitation, Small Enterprise Development, Environment, and Education. SED and Environment will combine this year.
4. You can live off a U.S. dollar a day.
True. For the most part. If you stay in a village and either eat the local food or cook for yourself, it is possible to live off one dollar a day. Most the time, though, you have to travel to get your produce and other food. Also, meeting up with people or doing projects makes you use your salary a lot quicker.
5. They drive on the wrong side of the road.
False??? Even though it is British influenced, they (evidently) are supposed to drive on the right side of the road. Does that happen? Not really. Up in the north, the roads are barely tended to, leaving more potholes than road. Therefore, the cars are forced to swerve across the entire highway and drive on the wrong side for most of the time. Wanna play chicken? Sure feels like we are most of the time.
6. I have worn a jacket and jeans at the same time here.
True. Crazy, right? If you live here long enough, you become adapted to the heat and feel the ‘chill’ of a slight breeze. Yup. Never thought you would be comfortable in jeans in Africa, huh? It is true that Ghanaians will close all the windows in a moving car because they fear getting a cold.
7. There is no alcohol here.
False. It’s not good alcohol, but it does exist. In the south, they have palm wine (which they get directly from a tree!), and in the north, they have pitto (which reminds me of tea). They also have something called Apatashe (sp?); “How can something be so awful and wonderful at the same time?” We call this moonshine. At spots (bars) they also serve beer made in Ghana and liquor in sachets (each sachet is about a shot). They also have coke, fanta, and sprite.
8. Ghanaians love to swim.
False. They are terrified of water. Most Ghanaians will not go past their knees in the water. They fear crocodiles and other critters as well as drowning. The beaches are empty, come on over!!
9. If you are in senior school you are between the ages 15 and 18.
I guess I should have specified. I was talking about in Ghana. Therefore, this statement would be False. Most people in Senior school are in their 20s. Since most people cannot afford to go straight through (having to stop and make money for the next year of school), or fail a class, it takes them a lot longer to complete school. It seems crazy sometimes that people in Senior school are around my age.
10. Ghana beat the U.S. in football (soccer) during the world cup.
True. Last year, we watched the game with our Ghanaian families. As the game came to a close, it was interesting to see how excited they were to knock the U.S. out of the world cup.
11. You won’t find cheese here!
False! Thank goodness! Although the cheese is expensive and very VERY limited, you could find it. Most of the cheese you can find is in Accra, but Tamale does sell Mozerella and Laughing cow. Also, they have goat cheese that they fry, called Wagashi. If you go to my house, you can also find cheese that my family sends!
12. It can take you six hours to go the distance it would normally take an hour.
True. As an example, yesterday I went to my site. I left the Tamale office, went to my station to get in a car and it started pouring rain (yay, rainy season is back!!). Two hours later, we leave the station. You can never expect to reach a destination at the same time every time. Cars break down constantly. People get in and out of the cars every five hundred feet. They need to get gas because they refuse to pay for a whole tank at one time. The cars break down (did I mention that?).
13. There is no such thing as ‘women’s clothing’.
Well, I should have worded that one differently too. I meant for it to be True. When it comes to Westernized clothing, there is no distinction between men and women clothing. It is always entertaining to see men in skinny, obviously women’s jeans. I get annoyed when I realize that I would not even be able to fit in them.
14. The PC has guards at all offices at all times.
True. There are three offices in Ghana. One is in Tamale. The offices are houses, surrounded by walls and a gate, where the guard stays 24/7/365. There are a few guards at each office that rotate through. You also have to sign in every time you come, which keeps track of who is in each office. Safe and secure!
15. I have had two snakes in my house.
False. I (knock on wood) have not had any snakes in my house. I have, however, had them in my yard and have seen plenty on the road. Most of the time, the ones on the roads are dead. Thank goodness!

TRUE or FALSE

The Tamale office requires a PCV to be watching the house every day. Since the person who is usually in charge is on vacation, I was asked to watch it for a few days. Excellent! Running water, electricity, town full of food, and internet? Why the heck would someone NOT love this place?! I decided to take the opportunity and put on a TRUE/FALSE blog session. The answers will come with explanations later, so pay attention!
1. There are seven regions in Ghana.
2. Ghanaians can read English.
3. Ghana was the first place the Peace Corps went to.
4. You can live off a U.S. dollar a day.
5. They drive on the wrong side of the road.
6. I have worn a jacket and jeans at the same time here.
7. There is no alcohol here.
8. Ghanaians love to swim.
9. If you are in senior school you are between the ages of 15 and 18.
10. Ghana beat the U.S. in football (soccer) during the world cup.
11. You won’t find cheese here!
12. It can take you six hours to go the distance it would normally take an hour.
13. There is no such thing as ‘women’s clothing’.
14. The PC has guards at all offices at all times.
15. I have had two snakes in my house.

Cultural Integration is EXHAUSTING

Man oh man, what a crazy week. For those of you who know anything about Ghanaian culture, all I have to say is: Damba + Fulani issues(X2) + Nurses tryin to get me involved in the teachers sleeping with the students = Oh my gosh, I thought I might die from stimuli overload.
Damba- only the best festival/celebration in the Northern Region. In Gonja land, the major celebration took place in Damango. Rumor had it that all the chiefs were going and I would not miss anything here, so I hopped on a FREE (air conditioned- what? Yes, I said it!!) ride to join my village there. Although I missed the beginning of the festival (slaughtering the cow and opening prayers and whatnot), I have to say I was amazed at the magnitude of the festival. When walking up to the paramount chief’s palace (the head of all the chiefs in Gonja land- used to live in Kusawgu but got promoted… I might have to explain the cheiftancy rules when I fully understand it), I was reminded of festivals in the states. There were tents, speakers, stands where food and drinks were sold, and even two moon bounces for the children. Again: what? Yes, that is correct, they have moon bounces- I took video if you do not believe me!!
Back to the Damba. I learned it is to celebrate the New Year. A little late on their part, but let’s face it, most of the people do not even know what year it is let alone the month or day. No one ever knows when the Damba will take place (something having to do with the moon, but I think it is more when the chief wants it, the chief gets it), therefore, I did not know it was going to happen till a few days before. Like I said, by the time I got there, I already missed about a day of celebration. The day I arrived, there was a lot of speeches, a huge snake wrapped around a JuJu man, lots of drinking (by the mere fact that there were a few volunteers together), and canons and guns being shot off. All the survival instincts learned over the past 24 years- out the window. Going towards the canon and gun shots is a good thing here. Man, I am going to get into some trouble when I get back to the states (what do you mean you are supposed to run away from those loud noises?!). Although there was not much going on that night, we did not get to bed till about four in the morning. Eesh. Thought those days were behind me. The next morning, we were up and out of bed by six (yes, in the morning). We got food, took baths, and went to see what was going on at the chief’s palace. Not much. So, we went to greet my chief (who was once in Yappei, which is where a current volunteer lives- again, I will have to explain later). After that, we had lunch and went back to take a nap and bath again to cool down (hot season is not fun). Around six at night, we went back to the chief’s palace, greeted and saw the inside of the Paramount chief’s palace, and got dinner. Nothing was going on again, so we searched for a pitto place (local brew- kind of like tea but with alcohol in it…). After that, we went back to the chief’s palace and started dancing! From about 10 P.M. to 3 A.M. we danced in big conga lines. At about three, we decided to go back to the house to gather our things and wait for the bus to come at five. Interestingly enough, the bus came and I got to my site and in bed by seven (it should have taken us three or four hours to get home). That was Damba in Damango.
Even though I was exhausted, I decided I should not sleep all day and go to the clinic to see my nurse friends (especially since I needed water badly). Upon arriving, I found a police officer there and a Fulani woman. Evidently, she was attacked by another Fulani man, who was now in the jail in my village. Since they did not know the severity of her injuries, they could not post bail (not like they could afford it) or start the trial. I do not know the whole story, but that was the gist of what I got. Along with that, another Fulani man was injured in a bicycle, moto, knife accident. From what I gathered, the injured Fulani was on a bicycle with his knife when a moto (also driven by a Fulani) ran into him. Somehow, the knife ended up in the Fulani’s hand, injuring it pretty badly. The issue now is that the injured Fulani cannot work (they are all farmers and cow herders- kind of need their hands) and wants the guy who was on the moto to pay him A LOT of money. Fulanis are not rich, in case you were wondering. They are looked down upon by Ghanaians. They are nomads and basically considered servants to the Ghanaians.
Well, I was supposed to have a smaller Damba celebration yesterday at my site. Of course, it did not happen. But here is the run down of how it would go: the chief would slaughter a cow in front of his house, all the villagers would go around the village and round up the elders (somehow I am included as an elder), and we all would dance-march over to the chief’s house. There, we would continue to dance all night. Same song. Same beat. I wish I could record it. Amazing how entertained they are by just two steps in a dance and the same beat all night! I love it! ALL NIGHT.
Last part of the equation: the nurses talking to me about the girls sleeping with their teachers. If you all have heard, that is a touchy situation in Africa. I refuse to even react to it. I wish I was braver about that, but I guess I am more selfish than some people. I should have told the nurses that THEY need to handle that. Not me. No matter how much I try to be a part of the community and how many friends I have, I will never be as comfortable to touch on that issue as they would be. That is a citizen issue, not an issue a volunteer could tackle.